I certainly have not been proud of myself in a long time. The accomplishments seem few. But this. These moments. Paul typically gets the kids to sleep at night but I have been feeling so disconnected from him I decided to take a turn. This sweet boy with his Hot Wheels. He trusts me, looks up to me, tells me stories. I’ve been great at ignoring him, breaking his trust, not listening to him. I love him so. Why I am treating him terribly I can’t explain. It causes me so much pain that I can’t begin to imagine what it’s doing to him.
Sleep peacefully, my boy. I will try harder. I will be the mother to you I once was. I don’t know how to get back there but I promise you I will figure it out.